My belly is full.
Strange statement, but true both literally and figuratively. I’m to the point that when it comes time for a meal I want to eat. After I’ve eaten, I wonder, why? I have such a hard head that I wonder if it will EVER catch up and catch on.
Discipline is the one thing that we all know is good for us. It is good for us to be held to a certain standard (disciplined). It is good for us, as children to learn when we are disciplined. I always did well when I was partaking in an activity that required structure and discipline. So why is this SO FREAKING HARD! One has to be disciplined in what they eat and disciplined to exercise. I don’t understand the psychology of it all. I love all things related to the sick brain so it is frustrating not to be able to get a grip on it.
I’ve been pretty low lately and am trying to pull up out of the hole. This full belly feeling and that old feeling of failure when you eat what makes you sick, doesn’t help that low feeling. Knowing that you don’t have the discipline to police yourself in what you should or should not be eating is daunting. Knowing the ones you love are going through a hard time is a big stress. Watching gas prices rise sometimes right before your eyes can be so disheartening that it makes one wonder why they even get up and go to work. I have transportation issues with both of the vehicles I drive. I’ve been surrounded by death and dying the last six weeks, that while I am thankful they weren’t people that were in my immediate family my heart aches for those that it did touch. The fact that I miss my daughter terribly is enough to make one cry and the fact that there has been no beach or water time to lift the spirits makes for a low, lower than low. I’m throwing a pity party….ALL INVITED TO ATTEND! I have friends that have lost their spouses, some to death and some to divorce, for goodness sake! What business do I have that could be THAT bad? I know life is what you make it… I know life is what happens while you are making plans… I know that life is going to go on whether I’m throwing a party or not. WOOT WOOT…bring out the noise makers!
I do have one thing that has amazed me. I am not craving Coca-Colas! I can’t believe it! Usually, the first beverage of choice, at these type parties, are colas. So while I party on, bring your water, your protein enriched drinks and come join me. LOL We will drown our sorrows. I can’t think of a better way to rid your life of these things other than drowning. Hey! That makes me think….I have an ex…..nah…that’s for another dayJ
I am maintaining my weight with a 3.5 pound fluctuation. I don’t like those fluctuations but reality is what it is. There are fluxes in our lives. Even a building has to sway with the strong winds or it cracks. I’m swaying. I just have to remind myself that the 3 pound sway is ALL the leeway there is. I must get disciplined. Lack of discipline is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of sickness. I must make myself healthy and GET TO IT!
