FIVE YEARS

Five years….. What does five years mean to you, the reader? Five years to me means: a new daughter in law, a divorce, nursing homes, 2 grandchildren, reconnected with old friends, made new ones, bought three new sewing apparatuses and learned to quilt, watched my children move MILES apart from one another and me, sold a house after 18 years, near death experience (no kidding), bought a house out of state, lost BOTH parents, lost BOTH my dogs, lost my dream car, moved into childhood home with all its memories, interviewed for 11 different jobs and now in search for a new home in Ringgold while cleaning out my parents home. (Yes, I know about run on sentences. Take a breath here)

Whew! Tired yet? I was telling my sister the other day I felt like a big Jenga tower and if one more person pulled the wrong tile I was going to fall to pieces. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t fall to pieces. I probably should sometimes but that is not my character. I don’t trust anyone with all those tiles. People I know would put a tile in their pocket just to see what happens while everyone searches for that last missing piece.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about the last five years. To me, it is like when your children are going through “a faze”. When you are slap in the middle of it you think to yourself “is this EVER going to end?” Only to find the next child has a faze (as in haze because that’s what it feels like) (phase) while the other is transitioning to yet another. You forgot the faze you were stuck in and thought you would never get out. Life happened during those fazes. You look up and realize a year had gone by while you were putting out faze fires.

I look around me and I’m so thankful I had parents as long as I did. I’ve had a great home. My children are happy and still full of crap! LOL I had the unconditional love of furry companions that thought the sun rose and set with me. I had the opportunity to own the most awesome car in the county. I lived to see outside of that OR, thanks to some amazing physicians and God of course. I’ve had the privilege of spending time feeding daddy’s birds and taking care of mom’s plants. If any of you see Dad before I get there don’t tell him I don’t pick up ALL the sticks in the yard. I had the pleasure of holding hands with both parents as they took their place in heaven. I’ve spent more time with my sister the last 5 years than I have in the last 20 combined. Not sure she is always appreciative but you get what you get.

The next five years in my life will be filled with many more life changing events. Hopefully more grands, a new house, and retirement not too far from that. If life slowed for me I often wonder what would I do? I would be tremendously bored. I’m already upset that my body is slower, my mind is slower and heck if my speech got any slower ya’ll would see me holding a toothpick in my mouth and spitting. If for some reason you see me somewhere drooling, please come over, prop me up, tell me life is good and sit there until I am better. And for all that is holy, please don’t slip a tile in your pocket!

Dolores Patterson….. My mom

 

Dolores Patterson born October 31, 1933 to the parents of Mitch and Allie Johnson in Ringgold, GA. She was welcomed by her siblings Mildred, Ralph and JD. They lived a meager life working the fields and playing in the creeks. Although she couldn’t swim she would tell tales of Ralph and JD aggravating her and her baby sister Evelyn in the creek. She was baptized in that creek when she was a young girl. Dolores’ mother was a praying woman and seems she needed to be with 5 rambunctious children, one of whom went into the service. 

As Dolores grew she made lifelong friends while attending school in Ringgold. Our family was blessed knowing these women as we grew. While Liz (Winkle) Lively proceeded her in death, Bettye (Pierce) Smitherman and Dolores were still in contact as much as they could be considering all the circumstances. 

At 16 Dolores met LeBron Patterson at a Sunday School event and evidently the sparks hit. Dolores started dating this “rich” man or so she thought. They always had meat every meal and more than they could eat. The Pattersons had a two story house and photos. This was as rich a people as she had ever known. She married LeBron on January 26,1951. It wasn’t long before she realized the meat came from the pasture and the hen house, the vegetables from the garden. She had married a farmer. 

There were many promises made on that date in January. Although it was difficult, those promises were kept until LeBron was called home to Jesus in March of 2020. Christ was the center of their home. Tithing came before anything else came from the payday. There would be no alcohol as they both had father’s who imbibed a bit much and neither wanted that in their home. Dolores and LeBron found work at DuPont where another set of lifelong friends awaited them. Gene and Jamie Sharpe were soon in their lives as Gene could hold one on one with LeBron and Dolores and Jamie could walk off spending hours together. 

It wasn’t long before the babies started coming. Kathy, Teresa, Steve and Tammie completed Dolores’ calling. After moving to Dalton she kept children in her home. These children grew up knowing love and Jesus as Dolores never missed an opportunity to talk about Him to the kids. She started each morning in her Bible. Dolores had the “kool aid” house. The one on the block where all the kids were welcomed and fed. It was a place where no matter the circumstances there could be a plate set for anyone at a moments notice. Dolores made her living keeping children and using her talent as a seamstress. Many nights after supper she could be found cutting out patterns and piecing things. 

The children grew and no longer needed her at home and she knew there was more of herself left to give. At 43 Dolores decided nursing was her calling. She set a goal and achieved all of them while keeping her house running as always. She was a dedicated employee who worked until she retired at 72. This retirement was only from the brick and mortar building and she started sitting with friends from the church that needed someone. She could be found taking a cake somewhere, a casserole to an event, or making sure her family had a hot meal waiting. She sat with a few ladies as they passed to Jesus knowing the shared love they had for Him. 

She and LeBron also started traveling. They had many trips with the church group and senior citizens group from Dalton. She never failed to bring back a Christmas ornament for her tree and a few trinkets. They loved sharing their stories and photos to anyone who would listen when they returned. While they went to many wonderful locations, the beach was always her favorite. She passed that beach love to her children and grandchildren. 

The last decade became difficult for her as her medical diagnosis did not hold a lot of promise. She took it all in stride. She started feeling better and was able to enjoy her grands and greats again thanks to Dr Susan House and Dr Bud Hays. Her last visit to Dr Hays he was explaining she may have two years left on her heart valve and didn’t recommend surgery. She told him that she was ready and asked if he was ready. He agreed he was and she informed him as long as she lived 24 hours longer than LeBron she would be fine. She outlived LeBron not only 24 hours but 2 years and 10 months, and that two years prediction by almost 2 extra years! It was a hard few years with COVID isolation but she held on on for her family as she knew we needed her strength. She never missed an opportunity to make jokes or give someone a hard time. 

Her caregivers at Tranquility, WoodDale and Quinton all knew she was a feisty one and she wasn’t slowing that part of her life down. Even after her heart attack in November she came back to give a few more weeks of antidotes and quips.

The family could never repay the love and support that was shown by her sitters. In the last few months there was someone with Dolores at all times. Pamella Clark, Taylor Daniel, Hollie Leigh, Brooke Green,Jennifer Buckman, Lori Ellis, Vikki Delestowicz and Melody Young were an answer to prayer when the family needed anything they never hesitated to step up. 

Dolores’ life was full. She lived a good life albeit not always an easy one (after all, she was married to LeBron). She was funny, quick witted yet patient. Her legacy will live on through Kathy and Gordon Ferguson and their family, Nancy and Steve Cohen, Ansley, Matthew and Callie. David and Lauri Ferguson. Robert and Leah Ferguson, Christopher and Bradley. Teresa and Charles Keith and their family, April and Stacy Pritchett, Carson, Cole and Emma Kate. Andrew Keith and Olivia. Steve and Cathy Patterson, Kristen whom was waiting for her Granny’s arrival, Kelly and Jacob Ramsey and Keenan. Tammie Clark, Taylor and Casey Whitson and Finley, Hunter and Taylor Talley and Easton. 

That makes 34 family members whose lives are fuller because they had a Mom, a Mother-in-Law, and a Granny who will be remembered by the fruits of the Spirit.

I like to tell folks I got the woman who found her voice as my mom. Being the baby I was raised by a different woman than my siblings. While being a teenager is tough in a perfect world, try being a teenager in Dolores Patterson’s house. That will set you straight real quick! It just took lots of spankings and switches from The Millican’s bush before I decided what lines I wanted to cross. Thankfully I grew up and mom became my buddy. We grew close when she started getting sick. I transported her back and forth to the doctor visits and to the store on occasion. We learned to have a girl’s day out and enjoy one another. Mom had a wicked sense of humor that bordered on passive aggressiveness which I absolutely LOVED! None of my siblings saw this in mom and it was right up my alley. Mom could cut to the bone and as long as it wasn’t aimed at you it was great. She never missed an opportunity the last few years to tell me she missed me when I was out of town. She reminded everyone ONE time I was her favorite (joke) and as her baby and running buddy how could I not be? I count it a privilege to have held her hand as she left on her terms Sunday night. I needed her to know I was escorting her one last time on her trip

How’s the world treating you

      Thoughts of many wander through my mind this evening. Random, crazy, odd thoughts. I know many are not surprised as they know that is one minute in my brain on any given day.

      I’ve had music in my life from the very beginning. I listen to music ALL the time. If I don’t wake up with a song in my head I must not be alive or awake yet. I’m still in a dream somewhere. Wake me! I need that tune.

     Are there songs that come to mind when you think of certain people, places or things? Ok, maybe not things unless you thought of that danged bear in I CAN’T FIGHT THIS FEELING by REO Speedwagon. One of the stupidest videos around at that time for what we all thought was a love song but he was in love with that stupid bear! 

     Who would you like to see in concert and haven’t? Mine is Neil Diamond. I will never get to see him:( But I think it would have been an amazing experience. I heard one time the reason he wore the sequin shirts in concert was so “the folks in the back could see him and enjoy too.” I don’t know where I heard that but it has been many years. Kind of cheesy at a time when rock and rollers were long haired hippies. Had a radiologist tell me he was the Messiah to the Jews! Made me laugh (Yes, he was Jewish) It is a weird love of Neil Diamond I have, after all he was peaking in the 70s before I became a true music lover. Or so we thought. Along came The Jazz Singer for me. I had to run out and buy that album immediately! I must have directed that orchestra in the living room a million times with the sweeping melodies of  “Hello” and “Songs of life”. At that time, I had no idea he had written all those songs others were singing.

      High school held “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers”, “September Morn”, Heartlight” after all who didn’t like the movie “ET”?  I also saw on a tv special one time that Mr. Diamond didn’t set out to be a singer/song writer. This wasn’t his college major (Pre-med)  but learned the girls loved poetry and music. It was said he wasn’t very athletic but could write poetry. He picked up a guitar at 16 and taught himself to play. A singer/songwriter was born. Born for the sheer amusement of the ladies. Smart fella.

     Willie Nelson was in Nashville when I was in high school and a school mate went up and played his fiddle. There he met Mr Nelson and I remember this mate coming in telling us an antidote he was given by the musician. “Never forget your fans, after all, they are the reason you are here.” I’ve never forgotten that. Not that I have fans but I have thought about that so many times about “stars” and their attitudes. All stars should have that attitude. Look at Dolly. She knows that lesson well. Why have we placed these stars above all when they don’t have a clue who we are or even care. If someone you like is acting in such a way that you don’t like why would you spend money to put in their pocket? Stop buying their music. Stop buying their books. Stop seeing their movies. Support those that align with thought processes. 

     When in high school did you have a certain teacher or teachers that actually saw you? Not the popular kid, the smart kid or the fun kid, but you. The real you at that time. The one that needed to be seen but no one had a clue. So many times in my adulthood have I wished someone had actually seen me sitting in their class and seeing that I learned differently. I see these tik toks and all the fun ways these folks have come up with learning math. WOW! Where were these people when I was in school? Life would have been so different. So thankful for the one teacher that saw me and treated me kindly when life was hard. I might have been the theatrical/musically talented kid with lots of crazy friends and loving life as it was thrown but I needed someone to step up academically and see the cover I was using to hide the lack of knowledge because I wasn’t “getting it”.  Teachers…look for those kids. They deserve to go to college and get scholarships just like those top 20. Don’t overlook the seed that could be cultivated with a little extra time and effort. We are worth it.

     Ghosting….who came up with that idea? They should be smacked. If someone had ghosted me back in the day I would have let them have an earful. Casper was a ghost….he was a friendly ghost. It isn’t nice to just not call someone back. Don’t be that person. This has been a topic of conversation at work and I don’t understand how the girls deal with some of these guys. I also don’t understand why some of these girls want someone so bad they are willing to do whatever it takes. They need to be listening to Steve Harvey. That cat has the answers. Boys are still boys. I am reminded of a quote my kindergarten teacher sent me when I graduated high school. “Boys will be as good as a girl expects him to be. He will be as bad as she lets him be.” This hung in my room on my mirror for years. 

     Does everyone have one special person that will be their friend til the day they die? Are you that person to someone? If not, what a thing that is missing in your life. Some are very fortunate to have found that in high school/college and some have found that as an adult. Some of us have several people that are special in our world. I have one friend that I could tell ANYTHING and I mean absolutely ANYTHING and there would not be an ounce of judgement. I have several ride or die friends. These are those friends that you love hanging with and being around. Your “crowd, your “village” your go to for all things enjoyable and fun with a touch of seriousness that they know is there without ever having to explain. Everyone deserves these type people in their lives. It may be a sibling. It may be a grandparent, parent or child. Someone who fills your cup and you them. Be vulnerable and find your crowd. It may take a few missteps but it will be worth the twisted ankles along the way.

    Have I said I am going to see David Foster again!??! Yes, yes I am! I can not wait. It will be so much fun. The ASO theater is a great theater with perfect acoustics. I won’t be sitting front row this time but I hope to be able to actually see him playing this time. I could gush about this artist again but I’ve already contributed a whole blog about him before…..but let me say….HE IS THE MAN!

     Barry Manilow is going to be in Atlanta….and yes, I’m going there too! LOL  He writes the songs. He is old. But I still like hearing him sing. He was never much of a showman but the music speaks for itself. 

     Did Crystal Gayle ever find out who he was talking in his sleep about? 

     Am I the only one that wants to retire but don’t even see that in the future? 

     Kody Brown is a jerk. 

     Am I the only one tired of winter?

     Did anyone actually Dial M for murder?

     Am I the only one that loves Mexican but can no longer afford to eat out?

     Do you ever wonder what would have happened had you chosen differently at different times in your life?     

     Am I the only one that thinks the housing market has lost its mind?

     I miss being able to climb trees and run. Wait I could never run.     

     Am I the only one that thinks their children and grandchildren are the bomb?

     Am I the only one that misses their pets that have gone on?

     Am I the only one sitting here blogging random thoughts and antedotes?

     Wait time in the ER should never be the reason you do or don’t visit. Necessity should be. If wait time factors into your decision don’t go….go to an urgent care because it isn’t an emergency. Did you fall last month and it still hurts? Go to an urgent care. Did you have a car wreck today? Go to the ER. Are you experiencing chest pain? Go to the ER. Call an ambulance if it is an emergency. Do not call an ambulance if you need a ride to the hospital…get someone to drive you to the urgent care.  Some of my friends work 24 and 48 hour shifts and haven’t been getting any breaks at all because of the calls. I feel so sorry for these guys and girls. The ambulances haven’t even had a chance to refuel or restock before they go out again. These staff members aren’t getting breakfast, lunch or dinner. They are to the bone. Please be considerate to your emergency staff. We are all tired and working as hard as we can. 

     If you have made it this far down in the blog thanks for entertaining my craziness! Again, I reiterate spending the day in my head would weaken the strongest among you. I miss Kenny Rogers. Lol SQUIRREL!