Dreams can become reality

     At the encouragement of several people, this blog today is one made from dreams. Dreams I have had for 35 years, the last five have become so vivid and frequent I have to speak them. Many may think them crazy and unattainable but if one doesn’t speak of them, will they ever have a chance to come true? Remember as one reads, this may not be something you would ever want, but to me it makes my heart sing.

     In 1982 I was a senior in high school. I can think back to different periods of my life and hear the soundtrack in my head of what my life was like at any given time. Music has always been a huge part of my life. The piano lessons, the flute lessons, the voice lessons and the organ lessons were continuous up to 1982. Performance was what I lived for but stage fright always kicked my butt. Performers that make it look effortless are my heroes, but I digress. The soundtrack of my senior year was Chicago 16 to be followed by 17 and 18. I could recite every single word from those albums probably better than Peter Cetera.

     Soon after this came St. Elmo’s Fire in theaters and the cassette running in my car. Those French horns called to me. As everyone knows by now, I am deaf. The reason for this is simple. It started with big headphones with the curly q cables attached to this huge stereo. I learned to sing harmony because I love the “middle” of music. I know many think “but you played the flute”. Yes, I did but French horns, cellos, tenor saxes all warm my soul. I would put on those headphones, turn the volume up as loud as it would go and smash those headphones into the side of my head so I could hear those instruments. Understand at this time, I was NOT deaf. Mom or Dad inevitably would come in and tell me to “TURN THAT DOWN! YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN YOUR HEARING!” (Looks like they were right about that one)

     Many times during high school and young adult years I saw Barry Manilow in concert. I love me some Manilow and love to hear his story about being a Pipilow. The story is instead of Gladys Knight and the Pips he wanted to take the stage and be a Pipilow.  That’s how I felt about the stage fright. Being up front terrorized me but back up is ME. Being part of the big picture is right up my alley and overacting is me. He sang a song one year called “The Best of Me”. I really fell in love with that song and looked to see if it was one he wrote. It was not. I learned that day why I loved those Chicago albums, the Elmo’s soundtrack and now this song. The song was written by David Foster and Richard Marx. David Foster wrote or co wrote the majority of those Chicago number ones. He produced those Chicago albums. He composed the soundtrack for St Elmo’s Fire and now I find he wrote this song I loved that night at the Manilow concert. I was hooked. This musician/producer/writer was speaking my language.

     If the reader doesn’t know David Foster let me introduce you. He is cross generational so even the “younger” readers will know some of these names. He has produced not only Chicago but many more big stars. Some include: Mary J. Blige, Christina Aguilera, Andrea Bocelli, Michael Buble’, Celine Dion, Jennifer Lopez, and Seal. If one looks up their favorite artist I would bet he has had his hand in their career at some point. He has the moniker “Hitman”. There is a reason for this. He has won 16 Grammys, 1 Emmy, 1 Golden Globe and has had 3 Oscar nominations. This guy is a genius!

     Now to the dream. Since losing my hearing the dream has ramped up. Maybe like my subconscious knows what residual hearing I have won’t last forever and mechanical hearing is not optimal. I have dreamed of sitting next to the piano with David Foster at the helm with a full orchestra practicing for a show. Now let me explain why I think practice is the dream. The subconscious knows I have a problem in crowds. If it is a practice session there is no crowd noise and the experience would be heavenly. I dream of sitting in this chair, next to this piano, in the presence of greatness with my eyes shut immersing my soul in the sounds that flood it. One can not adequately convey how this dream makes a person with hearing loss happy. Losing the hearing and no longer hearing those flutes, piccolos, violins, knowing the clarinets and saxes are next to go becomes daunting. It is soul crushing realizing that life will no longer be as I am accustomed but a readjustment each day. Every day I put these hearing aids in my ears feeling like an old lady. When I began losing my hearing in my 30s I was in denial. Denial is no longer an option but the reality is all there is.

     So, I did this thing. I am always checking to see if The Hitman is going to be anywhere near me. Imagine my surprise Friday night when I see he and his new wife Katharine McPhee will be in Atlanta. There were four front row tickets available but were so expensive I thought “how could I do this with Mark being in a temp job and me no longer working the second job?”  Twenty four hours later I have two front row tickets to the show! I am beyond giddy. I can’t stop smiling and my heart flips every time I think about how this is going to “sound”.  It is six months away and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to stand myself that long. I am so close to the dream becoming reality I can smell it.

     Here is where my friends come into play with my dream becoming the reality. We live so close to Atlanta and I know many people that live in that area or have friends there as I’m sure all my local friends do too. The concert is in March and is at The Atlanta Symphony House. I am looking for someone that may be able to score some backstage passes or have the ability to fulfill the dream of getting me into the practice session/sound check that day. Many say dreams will not come true unless you speak them so this is me sharing a very vulnerable part of me. Nothing like telling the world your hopes, dreams and health issues in hopes of the unimaginable coming true.

     So, friends, what do you think? Does anyone have those connections? Or what about sharing this blog with someone that may know someone that would take an interest in an old lady with a vivid dream. I am hoping to reach as many people as possible. After all, what do I have to lose? I am shooting for the moon but have already landed amongst the stars with the front row tickets. I don’t know how I am going to stand waiting six months. I can not wait!

Wedding month is always interesting

     Well, that was fun.  It has been a crazy, crazy, crazy two weeks.

Many of you already know my son married last weekend. But, leading up to this day took a lot of effort on this mom’s part. Being THAT mom, the one that wants everything to be perfect for their kids, makes for a lot of stress. Yes, brought on myself but luckily I have a daughter that understands my craziness and has a way of gathering me up and putting me on the right path. 

     I worry very little. Not ever been one to worry too much. My mom did enough of that for me and six other people. I know that the end game isn’t of this world and the reactions in my life are those of my choices. The things I do worry about....having enough food. I ALWAYS cook too much. If I cook for two there is enough for four. If I cook for four there is enough for eight. This is because I want to make sure everyone is satisfied and happy when they leave my table. Remember this.....as the story will continue. 

     A month before wedding trip time I purchased four Michelin tires for my baby. Anyone who has ever purchased them knows they are far from cheap. They were much needed and most definitely a good choice. One week later I had a leaky tire. Off to see Scott....yep, not just one screw in the tire but two punctures. UGH! Luckily, those Michelins have a warranty that included repair. 

     The week before we were to leave for Florida I find myself in the Hamilton Place area with a car that will not start. This happened last year and it was fixed with a simple battery. My first thought was since the battery was fairly new, the starter must be skipping about and going out. Off to Advance and of course, the battery is fine. Not to be one to question machinery I call my handy dandy mechanic. Scott is God’s gift to my cars. He has ALWAYS taken great care of me and my kids’ cars. I never question when he tell me I need something and trust him to always make me road worthy. He places the carbon tester on and low and behold the battery is NOT 100%. Back to advance I go for a replacement battery. Lucky for me, last year’s battery was under warranty and I received a new battery.

      After a long, hot day driving back and forth between Ringgold and Chattanooga trying to convince Advance the battery was bad, making sure and checking my food to buy list,I made it home and plopped down in my chair. I had been home less than 20 mins and still wasn’t cool. Of course I’m hot, the thermostat isn’t on. The air is out! Eddie Pilcher to the rescue. Seeing as how Eddie and I go all the way back to elementary school he knows I will try anything. Here I am, dark thirty, panel off the air conditioner 90 degrees outside with a flashlight. As we giggle about not touching this part when I touch that part, I decide flipping the breaker would probably be a better choice. Something about being a mature adult made that decision. Eddie almost had me talked into not pulling it....something about living on the edge....only live once....ahhh come on....where’s that Tammie spirit? All fuses intact and all parts accounted for outside. We move inside and alas, the problem! The batteries in the therm were corroded. I am usually pretty prepared with the right tools and fix it items. Why yes, I DO have that size battery in my repertoire. AIR!!!! YES!!! God is good and I’m still hanging in there. The only costs incurred so far are for the four tires and the oil change, both necessities for the trip.

     Anyone that has ever worked twelve hour shifts knows by the time your third in a row shows up you don’t know your name. This has become more and more prevalent as our ER is covered up at least 10 of those hours, if not all 12. I hadn’t packed and also had to make sure I had all the kitchen supplies and food I would need to feed all the family, the 35 people for the rehearsal dinner and enough for the groomsmen’s breakfast the day of the wedding. Looking back the only thing I forgot about would have been aluminum foil. Can’t say that was a deal breaker. 

     Swinging into Alabama to grab my brain (Taylor), my amazing son in law and that cute little Bubby of mine, dropping the dog with the awesome mother in law Whitson, we are READY! Wedding clothes, check. Bathing suit, check. Wedding gift, check. Enough food for an army, check. Husband with the trailer full of wedding supplies, check. My car mate, Tammy, check. Let’s do it! Four hours later we are in Destin and the weather is AHHHHHHmazing, albeit, HOT.

     As per my usual, I am setting up the kitchen, making sure everything is taken care of prior to hitting the beach. Not much time to spend there but I’m going to try it. After all, it is Bubby’s First trip to the sand and surf and my family is out there without me. The next day finds them on the beach again and me preparing for those 35 people to feast on taco bar food. I will brag and say our condo smelled like an hopping Mexican restaurant. After everything is percolating I head to the beach. A few hours later the time has come to make the final preps. Again, I will brag between me and my daughter we can rock a party! There was more than enough food and everyone was complimentary. 

     Wedding day arrives and that will be a facebook post in and of itself for there is a LARGE issue with the condo owner. This will NOT go without advertisement and warnings to anyone that uses VRBO in the Destin area. As soon as the green light is given I will continue this part of the story. Until then, know there is more to the story.

     A HUGE shout out to my girlfriend Cindy Wallin for without her, the decor and wedding would have been an absolute nightmare. She has vision and panache, not to mention skills. If we could only figure out how to get everyone to be at rehearsal and listen we would be rich! Picking up decorations, tables, candles, and food on a dark beach in 85 degree weather after an extremely long day makes one short tempered but no one was testy. Everyone worked together (even the ex walked trash to the garbage) and within 30 minutes, that beach never knew we were there. Late night and early morning makes for a long drive home. Well, home at that point was Alabama. I hadn’t slept that good in a long time. Just like that, the next morning it was over. Time to leave the best part of me in Alabama and head north. Naila was more than ready to jump in the car and head out. Little did either of us know that the feisty attitude wasn’t going to last. 

     Interstate 75 on a 100 degree day is not my idea of fun but a necessary evil when we live where we do. Naila is the best co pilot but she isn’t much on conversation. I stopped at the Adairsville rest area only to return to my car and realizing it isn’t as cool as I thought it should be. After all, I had left it running for my little furry one. Within ten miles I realized the air was set on 60 and it was HOT! If I can get home I can add Freon and be back in business. (Yes, I do) Nope, Freon was not the answer so the trip continues to Chattanooga to see Scott once again. This time the news isn’t good. While I am thankful it didn’t go out in Florida, I was not happy to learn I had to have a new compressor!  But again, there is an answer to my need for transportation to work the next day. My son is on his honeymoon and doesn’t need his ride. I can get to work. After all, someone has to pay for the tires,  the compressor and all the food for the wedding.   

     While all of these things could be seen as setbacks and headaches I choose to look at them as blessings. I drive my dream car. I appreciate the fact that I can fix things and feed an army. I have great friends that I can trust and am thankful they are smart and understand my craziness. I am glad I had a mom and dad that picked up and moved on no matter how bad it looked. I’m glad my sis has been preaching and teaching Dave Ramsey and I had the money to fix those things that came up instead of panicking. Of course, it is time to start again on that savings plan. I am sitting in a cool house, dog at my feet, dream car in the garage and my baby and his bride will be home tomorrow. I visited mom and dad today and had a good lunch with my sister. While I could be “woe is me” I’m so thankful for all the above. So many need to see the glass is not only half full it is a glass! You aren’t drinking from a recycled plastic cup from the kangaroo. I didn’t get to spend much time on the beach but I did get the sand between my toes. I got to experience time in the water with my grandson. I had the pleasure of spending time with the people I love the most and see my son marry his lifetime love. My glass is not just half full, it is running over.