At the encouragement of several people, this blog today is one made from dreams. Dreams I have had for 35 years, the last five have become so vivid and frequent I have to speak them. Many may think them crazy and unattainable but if one doesn’t speak of them, will they ever have a chance to come true? Remember as one reads, this may not be something you would ever want, but to me it makes my heart sing.
In 1982 I was a senior in high school. I can think back to different periods of my life and hear the soundtrack in my head of what my life was like at any given time. Music has always been a huge part of my life. The piano lessons, the flute lessons, the voice lessons and the organ lessons were continuous up to 1982. Performance was what I lived for but stage fright always kicked my butt. Performers that make it look effortless are my heroes, but I digress. The soundtrack of my senior year was Chicago 16 to be followed by 17 and 18. I could recite every single word from those albums probably better than Peter Cetera.
Soon after this came St. Elmo’s Fire in theaters and the cassette running in my car. Those French horns called to me. As everyone knows by now, I am deaf. The reason for this is simple. It started with big headphones with the curly q cables attached to this huge stereo. I learned to sing harmony because I love the “middle” of music. I know many think “but you played the flute”. Yes, I did but French horns, cellos, tenor saxes all warm my soul. I would put on those headphones, turn the volume up as loud as it would go and smash those headphones into the side of my head so I could hear those instruments. Understand at this time, I was NOT deaf. Mom or Dad inevitably would come in and tell me to “TURN THAT DOWN! YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN YOUR HEARING!” (Looks like they were right about that one)
Many times during high school and young adult years I saw Barry Manilow in concert. I love me some Manilow and love to hear his story about being a Pipilow. The story is instead of Gladys Knight and the Pips he wanted to take the stage and be a Pipilow. That’s how I felt about the stage fright. Being up front terrorized me but back up is ME. Being part of the big picture is right up my alley and overacting is me. He sang a song one year called “The Best of Me”. I really fell in love with that song and looked to see if it was one he wrote. It was not. I learned that day why I loved those Chicago albums, the Elmo’s soundtrack and now this song. The song was written by David Foster and Richard Marx. David Foster wrote or co wrote the majority of those Chicago number ones. He produced those Chicago albums. He composed the soundtrack for St Elmo’s Fire and now I find he wrote this song I loved that night at the Manilow concert. I was hooked. This musician/producer/writer was speaking my language.
If the reader doesn’t know David Foster let me introduce you. He is cross generational so even the “younger” readers will know some of these names. He has produced not only Chicago but many more big stars. Some include: Mary J. Blige, Christina Aguilera, Andrea Bocelli, Michael Buble’, Celine Dion, Jennifer Lopez, and Seal. If one looks up their favorite artist I would bet he has had his hand in their career at some point. He has the moniker “Hitman”. There is a reason for this. He has won 16 Grammys, 1 Emmy, 1 Golden Globe and has had 3 Oscar nominations. This guy is a genius!
Now to the dream. Since losing my hearing the dream has ramped up. Maybe like my subconscious knows what residual hearing I have won’t last forever and mechanical hearing is not optimal. I have dreamed of sitting next to the piano with David Foster at the helm with a full orchestra practicing for a show. Now let me explain why I think practice is the dream. The subconscious knows I have a problem in crowds. If it is a practice session there is no crowd noise and the experience would be heavenly. I dream of sitting in this chair, next to this piano, in the presence of greatness with my eyes shut immersing my soul in the sounds that flood it. One can not adequately convey how this dream makes a person with hearing loss happy. Losing the hearing and no longer hearing those flutes, piccolos, violins, knowing the clarinets and saxes are next to go becomes daunting. It is soul crushing realizing that life will no longer be as I am accustomed but a readjustment each day. Every day I put these hearing aids in my ears feeling like an old lady. When I began losing my hearing in my 30s I was in denial. Denial is no longer an option but the reality is all there is.
So, I did this thing. I am always checking to see if The Hitman is going to be anywhere near me. Imagine my surprise Friday night when I see he and his new wife Katharine McPhee will be in Atlanta. There were four front row tickets available but were so expensive I thought “how could I do this with Mark being in a temp job and me no longer working the second job?” Twenty four hours later I have two front row tickets to the show! I am beyond giddy. I can’t stop smiling and my heart flips every time I think about how this is going to “sound”. It is six months away and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to stand myself that long. I am so close to the dream becoming reality I can smell it.
Here is where my friends come into play with my dream becoming the reality. We live so close to Atlanta and I know many people that live in that area or have friends there as I’m sure all my local friends do too. The concert is in March and is at The Atlanta Symphony House. I am looking for someone that may be able to score some backstage passes or have the ability to fulfill the dream of getting me into the practice session/sound check that day. Many say dreams will not come true unless you speak them so this is me sharing a very vulnerable part of me. Nothing like telling the world your hopes, dreams and health issues in hopes of the unimaginable coming true.
So, friends, what do you think? Does anyone have those connections? Or what about sharing this blog with someone that may know someone that would take an interest in an old lady with a vivid dream. I am hoping to reach as many people as possible. After all, what do I have to lose? I am shooting for the moon but have already landed amongst the stars with the front row tickets. I don’t know how I am going to stand waiting six months. I can not wait!
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