Mama

     As I sit in the dark, light streaming in from the hall, I’m watching my mother as her ragged breaths rise and fall in her chest. You always know the day will come. You know and prepare as much as you can. But until you have walked “through the valley of the shadow of death” do you understand the stillness. 

     The oxygen machine becomes white noise and an occasional noise escapes my mom, otherwise, stillness. Knowing beyond a doubt my mom has a heavenly home, stillness. Psalm 46:10 “Be STILL and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

     Mom wanted to go home end of the week. She was up to it but the house wasn’t ready for her. I had the whole summer/winter switch out happening. I promised her I would take her home Tuesday (tomorrow). Little did I realize that mama may not have known it at the time, but home is where she is headed. It isn’t on my “tomorrow” schedule but sure seems like she has let the station without me. She didn’t care if I had a mess or not. She has a trip planned. Seems home isn’t Marshall Drive this trip.

     We have all expected this for several years but mom just kept rallying. Daddy passed and we knew mom was going to be right behind him. NOPE. COVID kept her away from us for more than 370 days but she made the best of it while we struggled. COVID knocked her down one time but not for long. Three years ago the cardiologist said she “MIGHT” have 2 years left with her leaky valve. Her response to him was “as long as I live 24 hours longer than LeBron”. Well, she has and then some.

    I will be here for my mama just as she has been throughout my life. Good or bad, easy or hard we went together. There are lots of funny stories to tell about mom that will be coming later. For now, I’m sitting in the stillness but not alone.