HOME

Been thinking today about home. There are many different meanings to the word “home”. The old saying “home is where the heart is”, in the Book of Ruth she talks about “where you lodge I will lodge” these things could be home. To some home is a house. I was musing to myself about these things and began to think about all the places I’ve called home over the years. 

Since selling mom and dad’s house I’ve missed going “home”. Marshall Drive was home even though I’ve made my own home elsewhere. I was the only child that was born in Dalton, therefore the only one that truly knew no other place where mom and dad existed. Sixty two years they lived there. Sixty two Christmases. While they were in the assisted living then the nursing home we still made sure they made it home for the holidays. The last Christmas was not to be for mom as she wasn’t able. She passed in January but we were all there with her in December. Home came to her. 

I think of that house and how so many friends passed through those doors. Some of those friends like Brian and Annie it could be daily they came through. Of course, I was the same at their house too. I remember Fran and Melanie being a staple for those first years and even that last Christmas there was Melanie just as always. The comfort of friends is a bond like no other. While the blood might not be biological the blood sister bond is still a commitment we evidently took seriously. 

When moving away from home it seems a good choice to find a place that has a touch of home so you can wet your feet in the world with a little safety. I found this in my sister’s living room. Belvedere, SC was the first stop in the home away from home journey. I know I didn’t stay long there but it was long enough to have some fun and bonding time with my nephew. He always wanted to know if I was in my “partment”. It wasn’t long before I needed the freedom to find my way and that step included my first “real” apartment. 

That was where I learned how to cook on a grill, learn that palmetto bugs are not roaches (I still think they are), learned what pot smells like since the neighbors loved that stuff and I learned I didn’t like Washington Road living during Masters week. I learned that South Carolina Highway Patrolmen would rather I be in South Carolina where they could stop by and see me ;) 

Next stop, back to Belvedere and the most fun apartment ever. The revolving door of friends began. My first Christmas tree and where I truly learned I could do it all. I bought a little red car and burned those streets up much to the chagrin of one said highway patrolman that liked to pull me over. To this day I think he would still believe I was a speed demon. Right Robbie? Here I learned that people really do throw pasta against the wall to see if it is ready. I learned there is such a thing as reversed prejudice. I learned med students aren’t always the smartest, and I learned home sickness is a real and true thing. No amount of love from a sister or boyfriend can keep you from your mama when you are that sick. 

Home……ahhhhh Marshall Drive but the lesson learned there this time is two women who have had their own home have a hard time living together. The little kitchen there just became a cracker box size and poor Daddy just had to hold on. Apartment hunting became a priority. 

Townhome in Dalton while driving to Children’s Hospital in Chattanooga was the move of choice. I finally got to bring my cat home with me here. My boy settled right in and was happy I wasn’t leaving him and staying gone any more. My daddy left cinnamon hearts and notes on my stairs. I never had an issue that wasn’t handled because Daddy was right around the corner, then came a man. The townhouse showed me my first washer and dryer purchase which until 3 years ago I still had! Thirty five years, one set of dog agits and one belt later it was finally time to move up. Yes, I am the one that replaced those parts. That townhouse didn’t feel like home but a stepping stone. The stairs there saw many, many tears as my heart got shattered many times. That poor cat was drowned by those tears but he stayed right with me. Those tears included many red flags and lessons I should have learned but for some reason this place was where I learned to ignore the obvious. 

I bought my first house in East Ridge. I never thought as a single woman I would ever be able to purchase a home but I did. Marriage and children followed in what I call “the little house”. That little house held us for 15 years. It was home. I refinished the hardwoods by hand on my knees through a divorce. I raised my babies alone there. The sound of them running across the floor heater in the middle of the night to get to me is a sound I will always remember. I helped build a deck and had some great parties in that little house. I had the best neighbors a girl could ask for and learned that we all can have different ideas and lifestyles and still love hard and strong. Life long friendships were made in that little house. My children learned about sacrifice. They learned how to be strong in the face of heartache. I learned I was stronger than I ever thought possible and I could do anything I put my mind to if I just didn’t give up. It was while living in this house that I heard my daddy say “I love you” for the first time. 

Georgia schools were where my children really needed to be and East Ridge was a place we needed to put in our rear view mirror. Ringgold had “the big house”. This house was twice the size of the little house and I felt like I was home the minute I walked in. I was now closer to mom and dad. I could get to them in the same time it took me to get to work. The middle was the perfect place. Mom had grown up in Catoosa County and it immediately felt as we belonged. The kids didn’t miss a beat and made friends quickly and easily. Hunter found his funny side and Taylor found her first tribe. Love bloomed and bombed but the three musketeers were a force against the world. I learned how fiercely a mother could love. I learned patience was not a virtue that I owned. I lost myself in this house but just before I moved I found me again. Seventeen years is a long time to become a hermit within yourself. Hiding in plain sight is sometimes the best place to hide but a very lonely place. I learned that being an empty nester isn’t all bad when you see how successful your children are becoming. 

Plans change as quickly as an election and sometimes we have to drop back and punt. Moving back home wasn’t a choice I wanted to make but I knew it was the right decision. I would never give a single second back of being back at home because I was closer to mom and dad. I could be there in less than five minutes and sometimes I needed to be. I lost my grand pup in this house and forever miss her and Lexi. I learned to be the daughter I was raised to be by taking care of my parents. I spent time with them that I otherwise would not have had the time to spend. I had quit my second job and freed up time. It was the first time alone in 30 years. No spouse, no children, no animals. I was my only responsibility. Who knew that was going to be this hard?! I learned that sixty two years of stuff isn’t needed stuff. I learned that if you have photos of people you need to ALWAYS write on the back. I learned that even if it is a trinket you’ve always known you don’t have to keep it because you can always keep the memory.

After mom passed it was time to move along and vacate the premises. I longed to be back in Catoosa. I miss Ringgold. I miss what I had there. I miss my house. I miss portions of my old life. But alas, the election debacle was still rearing its ugly head and not a good time to buy anything. I did however, stay in Georgia. Walker county is definitely not a place someone moves that wants to save any money. The taxes and water alone will put a person in the poor house quickly. I feel this house is also a stepping stone. I don’t know where I will be stepping next but for now I am open for many lessons. I have made many new friends although for the first time very few of them are in my neighborhood. Neighbors aren’t like we used to be. It is that or now that I’m the old lady with no children it changes people’s perspective. Whatever the lessons are that I am to learn from this homestead I am open. Being open has been in the conversations lately. Be open to adventure. Be open to new experiences. Be open to meeting new people and be open to different people that you ordinarily wouldn’t hang with. 

Home may be where the heart is for some. Home for me has been about learning and growing. Each home has held a special place in my heart with many fantastic memories. When I close my eyes and see each home, I see it filled with people I love. Some may have been for a season or just during that home time. Others have become forever friends that have gone from home to home with me. When you think of home what is it to you? If you are lucky you have the potential of sixty two years in one place. For those of us who move and grow we may not have the luxury of time spent in one place but whilst we are in that place we make the most of it.