Thursday, December 27, 2012

Happy 2 year Surgiversary!


TADA!!!!
It is here! My two year surgiversary. Happy surgiversary to me!

It seems like yesterday in a way, then it seems like forever. But, isn’t that life? Some things will never change.

You remember the pain of child birth? Yet you go and have another baby? Unfortunately, weight loss surgery seems to be a parallel to that for me. The pain and the vomiting, well, you kind of forget that and start eating stuff you aren’t supposed to eat.

Bread is still the enemy. I’ve succeeded in staying away from Panera Bread for the most part. I have TOTALLY succeeded in staying away from carbonated beverages (take that Coke!) Cornbread, on the other hand, is like a dessert to me. I love it. Don’t know why, I love hot, just out of the oven, butter melting cornbread. But, I digress; cornbread is now officially off the list, off my radar, out of my life (for now). My hubby is the gatekeeper. He has been such a good supporter of me and my journey. He went with me to my doctor visit. We discussed the need for bread control and he is now my conscience for awhile. I don’t understand my psyche but for some crazy reason he is the ONLY person that can even HINT that I shouldn’t eat something. Anyone else and I go crazy! I will eat it in spite of you, me or any other creature that determines to know best.

My doctor’s visit went well yesterday. We reviewed my lab work and my habits. I averaged my monthly weights for the 2012 year and some of you will be happy to know I gained ONE pound each month of this year. Now, time to stop and maintain.  Old habits are creeping up and like any monster it is time to stop it in its tracks. The holidays are horrible for anyone that tries to have self control but those of us former fatties can tell you it is twice as hard when you are trying to stifle a habit AND count those calories/carbs.

The former fatty brain is still a fatty brain. I have come to the conclusion that ALL former fatties should be in some sort of therapy. After all, we got fat for a reason and unless someone is treating that reason, you will get fat again! No questions asked. Being fat is a symptom of an underlying issue. Maybe it is medical, maybe not... more than likely, in my unprofessional opinion, not. Thankfully, I have been through enough doctor visits to know my issues and now fully understand the repercussions of my actions. If anyone reading this is contemplating weight loss surgery please examine ALL areas of your life and be COMPLETELY honest with yourself before undergoing such a life changing surgery.

I’m so proud of all the girls that have had this with me! It is HARD. Some have really done well….others, well, they have to answer for themselves. It is so hard for me not to shake some people. I spoke with the doctor about it yesterday and he tried to put it in perspective for me. I have GOT to let go and let others worry about themselves. Just because I’m a caregiver doesn’t mean everyone wants me to care!!

We all have a journey. Life is that journey. Everyone has to make the decisions for that journey. You can make decisions for your children and sometimes even for the members of your family that are incapable due to impairment but ultimately we are only responsible for ourselves. No one is responsible for us. We choose the path. Many paths are there. It is ok to go down a path and realize it isn’t the one you should travel. Everyone gets lost at some point. Luckily God gave everyone common sense. Sometimes we need to make a conscious effort to use it! When you lay your head down at night and there is no one in your head but you, be honest with yourself, look at your path. Is it taking you where you want to go? No one path is easy. Every path will have hills and valleys, deserts and floods. Don’t judge the path by its terrain but choose the path that will be the most rewarding in the end. Go for the one that has the pot of gold (or streets, in my case) at the end. Reach for the prize! Nothing worth having is easy to get. (and that my friends is a whole other topic for another day!)

So here are the stats…..Total pounds lost=106
                                    Total drop in A1C= 0.7 points and counting
                                    Total regain for maintenance=18#
                                    Total cost= priceless

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