Here we go....that “year in review” kinda blog but kinda not. It is just “that time” blog. I haven’t written in a really long time. I have said for the last few months I needed to write this or that down. It just hasn’t happened.
Three hundred sixty three days ago a judge in Catoosa County, GA signed divorce papers that officially ended the marriage we started in 2005. We didn’t make it “facebook” official because at the time it was the holiday season, the day after my birthday, my father was dying and my mom wasn’t doing well at all. Many of you did have the respect enough to send me a private message and ask what was happening while I’m sure others tongues were wagging. We didn’t tell Mama or Daddy and until this past Sunday that was still true. Daddy died not knowing we were divorced. My parents loved him and he them. They have been more parents to him than his own father ever has been. While his mom died when he was in his twenties, mom just stepped up and became that figure in his life. I will never take that relationship away. This is why you will still see us visiting mom together, doing yard work together, etc. We are friendly and still talk. This is the way divorces ought to work. We can all be adults about this and move our relationship into a different perspective.
Readers may remember the dream of me seeing David Foster. Guess we all know what happened there. It didn’t happen and was rescheduled for Feb 2021. Now look, He has knocked up his wife! This is a 72 year old man! What the heck!? I’m sure she will probably be due the week of the Atlanta show not to mention the Rona will still be kicking. How long will this guy tour anyway? Looks like another year dreaming again of a live concert with David Foster. With the lack of entertainment venues and events I have about worn out Spotify for sure. I refuse to give up on my Foster dream until the man is pushing up daisies.
Everybody wants to make 2020 all about the “RONA”. If one takes their day to day and looks back at it did the year REALLY revolve around something one could do nothing about? If it did I feel sorry for those. Life happened out there in the world. Good and bad things, yet things missed. Opportunities denied. When 2020 started it was full of hope and excitement. It then became a year of denial, death, decision, and divides. Everyone has a story. Every person has experiences. It is how one reacts to those experiences that make up the total person.
My reactions this year have not always been the best reactions but I own every one. I still get totally bent out of the frame when I think my mother has not held the hand of a family member in 272 days and counting. My mother, who was married to a man 69 years was denied getting to be at his funeral and be comforted. A woman who always enjoyed having her hair done hasn’t seen a beautician in over a year. She was denied visitation or comfort care as required by law because the facility in which she lives was afraid the family would introduce the virus into their building. As of today, our mother is ONE of FOUR that is testing negative out of every resident there. This means 63 residents have a positive COVID test and guess who brought it into the facility. NOT the families that were denied visits. They have our elderly living in a Petri dish. I sent a message to one of our state representatives in which I stated Hamilton Health was slowly marching our parents to the oven and the blood of our parents was now on their hands for not doing something about it sooner when we requested. SO many people are dying ALONE! This should infuriate any one with a heart. NO ONE should EVER die alone. NO ONE should have to decide which ONE person stays with their parent as they draw their last breaths. Thankfully, Daddy passed away the second week of shut down so we were fortunate to be able to gather around him. I am thankful Mama is kicking corona butt right now. I pray every day that it continues and those around her get better. Should this change my good attitude could change and turn on a dime. I’ll have a glass cutter to a window in a matter of minutes. How can people in power not do something about this? Why has the national guard not been called in to clean the facility? Why did it have to get to 63 residents before they closed everything down? When you have staff testing positive why are they working without a fever? A positive is a positive with or without a fever. Whomever made that call has coals of fire reaped upon their head as that is my prayer for them. So many mistakes were made. Some of those mistakes are innocent, unknown entities. Other decisions weren’t mistakes they were STUPID calls. When one doesn’t have the educational background to support the decisions that are being made that person should seek out help. Learn and listen. Never turn a back to people in the know trying to shine a light on your path. So, enough of that. It changes nothing other than me blowing steam.
All of a sudden a whirlwind came in while I was working and turned the world upside down as I knew it. The whirlwind of change. The whirlwind of the government and youth. Within this year not only have I lost a parent. I have a mom in locked down. My daughter and son in law sell their home in Alabama and move to Pennsylvania. Thank you to the government, (NOT). While I am totally excited that Casey is again proud to be a Marine again after having lived through hell, my hell feels like it is just starting. Ok, so it isn’t THAT bad but it sure looked good on paper. Lol As any mom knows, your daughter becomes your bud and when your bud moves away a part of your heart goes with her. Not to mention I kinda love the two boys that hang out with her.
On the heels of the relocation of one child, my other child decides he will move to Florida. What does one do when they are in their 20s and their wife says “hey let’s go”? You do exactly as they did and get up and go! NEVER let an opportunity or dream take a backseat because of fear. The fear of change, fear of leaving parents should never stop one from taking a leap. Follow dreams as far as they will carry. It isn’t easy as a mama to say it but I mean every uneasy word of it.
So what does a mom do when her children take off? She follows her dreams! My house is now for sale and the dream of building on the farm I’ve longed for is within reach. I say it is within reach but a house for sale during the holidays, doesn’t move very fast. Building materials and election year uncertainty sure has slowed the wheels of the dream. If the dream never becomes reality I still have the most beautiful house plans drawn to my specs.
The latest endeavor has been one I would have never in a million years thought I would do. I am a H.O.G. member. I am an official Harley person. This spring an off handed comment to “go for a ride” has turned into some of the best friends in which a girl could surround herself. Ryan and I go all the way back to high school as far as hanging out. So many people have asked if we are “dating”. The answer is no we are not. We have one of the longest running friendships. We used to run the lake together and enjoyed it so much we decided as long as we were enjoying ourselves we might as well share it. So, here we are sharing fun times together with friends! He has introduced me to people whom I trust with my life. I don’t know if all motorcycle clubs are like ours but this I know; these are the most caring individuals one could ever meet. They are giving, welcoming and kind. They took me in and made me one of their own. They give back to their community and are always looking for ways to help others. They have given in ways to me that I could never repay.
On my way to becoming an official H.O.G. I have gotten to see some of the most beautiful terrain. I have tried to include my friends by sharing pictures along the way. I have gotten to ride The Dragon that in the past I had heard so much about. I have been so hot I thought I would fry, so cold I thought I was growing icicles and so wet I could ring out my socks. Even during the most extreme rides, the rides were awesome.
This Spring I mentioned to Ryan that I would like to find the grave of one of my first friends I made when I came to Chattanooga. His name was Tony Green and he passed before my Taylor was born. Some of you may have known Tony, some may have heard me speak of Tony. Tony was my first true experience with AIDS/HIV. His death was horrible to watch but he gave so much hope to others.
We found Tony’s grave a few weeks ago. It was a strange encounter indeed. Many times over the years I have thought about finding it. When we did, I saw on the gravestones, Tony’s mother had died in the spring. She lived a long life without her son she loved dearly. Tony’s father’s grave was fresh with unearthed ground and week old flowers. Seems mine and Tony’s connection had continued all these years without my knowledge. One of our parents died the same year, same season and just when I was speaking of finding the gravesite. The irony was not lost on me with the timing of my visit to him after almost 30 years.
This will be our first Christmas without Daddy. Well, without Mama for that matter, so is it really Christmas if one parent is still alive but not in attendance? Our family’s answer is “no”. It is not Christmas at our house. While we will be having our Christmas dinner etc with our immediate family, with the children, we will not be getting together as the extended family until Mom can bust out of jail. We have promised Mom a big Christmas party even if it is July. We are waiting to have it with her. I know it never surprises anyone when they pass Marshall Drive and there is something fun going on. If you drive by and there is a party going on then you will know it is CHRISTMAS!
This reminds me of a story........Everyone that knows me and my family knows my parents did not smoke or drink and it was not allowed in their house. The only people allowed to smoke was Gene Lane and Preacher Hogan. There was a time others smoked in the house. It wasn’t me! I promise! However, there was this party. It was HUGE. How I ended up with that many people on Marshall Drive I will never know. Remember, this was BEFORE the internet. This was when we still had curly q phone cords. I had never seen so much garbage or cigarette butts in my life. I also can not believe I was naive enough to think that Mr and Mrs Millican wouldn’t tell Mom and Dad that I had a party. Their son Max came as the party was winding down and said he was going to walk through the house and make sure nothing was out of sorts. Lol Little did I realize how much truly could have been out of sorts. The next morning I cleaned like a mad woman. I raised the windows, sprayed everything I possibly could and had all the beer cans and butts picked up and hauled off. When I returned to the house one could smell it from the driveway! I don’t know what they said to one another but I remember mom and dad not saying a word about it to me. There is NO WAY they did not smell it. There is NO way my daddy who had a nose like a bloodhound couldn’t tell how many people were there, what brand beer they were drinking and how many smokes they had. I thought I had truly gotten away with something. Makes me laugh to think about how we as kids and young adults think our parents aren’t smart enough to figure us out when we lay the evidence at their feet.
I honestly NEVER snuck out when I was younger but boy could I sneak people in! I wonder....... never mind, that is a story for later....... Until then............
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